Not Quite Finished

In Psalms 22 David writes: “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help? Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief.” (NLT)

Then in Psalms 23 he starts out with: “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” (NLT) The two of these verses seem to be contradictory. What went on in David’s life seems to be going on in my life now. 

Each day when I wake up I’m drooling uncontrollably and I am frustrated with my Master. Then, when I go to the gym and exercise mightily I am thrilled with him. (I’m on the rowing machine for 4000 yards and swim 1000 yards three times a week. I ride my bike on days when I don’t go to the gym for about 9km). Then when I get home and eat something, or drink water, I’m choking. More irritation or resentment. I’m able to do a lot of physical things without much grievance or failure – for that, I’m praising his name. Yet when I’m typing or writing something I notice that I’m spelling wrong or putting words in place that don’t need to be there. That’s annoyance. I’m still able to drive for long distances, read my Bible, do research, clean our house, wash our car, and a host of other things – for that, God has been so good to me.

So what was David thinking when he wrote those two conflicting verses? Was he thinking what I am contemplating? Throughout the Psalms that David wrote he goes back and forth with his reasoning. As I weighed those words God brought me to a culmination. The abandoning is a short time to see how we will respond to his plan for our lives. He is trying to teach us something with these short-term activities. They may be for years…or just days. But that plan depends on us and how well we learn what he is trying to teach us. The verse in Psalms 23 is long-term. “I have all that I need”. That is undeniably true. I have everything that I need. I always have, throughout my entire life. 

So what is he trying to teach me now-a-days? One thing is how blessed my wife is to me. He knew this when we met each other 45 years ago (we’ve been married for 44 years). He combined us together for a life that was consecrated and adored for him. Another thing is writing. I’ve always spoken words on the field and in churches and very seldom written anything down. We also made videos of our time on the field. About ten years ago I started writing because of his plan. I didn’t know that this neuron disfunction would come upon me at this point in my life but I am learning multiple things from it that he is teaching me. One other thing is my awareness and insight to people that have disabilities. Because I have been extremely healthy all my life, and hung around with atheletic people like me, the Master is giving me recognition these days of people that are disabled. 

There are several more things that I’m sure God is trying to teach me but I haven’t gotten there yet. It takes time with me, and I am sure that God is patient and willing to endure with me. In Acts 20 Paul says, “My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus” (NLT). I just need to remind myself that “he is all that I need”…