Not Quite Finished

4am…

As part of my daily reading of the Bible last week I was in II Corinthians, chapter 12. I’ve probably read that passage at least 20-30 times over the years, but my current circumstances with my voice issues highlighted it to me in a way that I had never considered before. That is what the Bible is all about. 

Over the past several years I have hand written the scriptures completely (about ten books of scribbling over several countries). I am always amazed when I come along a passage that God highlights to me and question why I don’t remember writing that one down. But that is the way the Holy Spirit works. We go through periods in life when the Spirit focuses on certain issues that God is currently surrounding our lives with.

In chapter 12 Paul writes about several things – about being caught up into paradise and hearing things that only he heard, about his previous times with the Corinthians, and his anticipated future visit with them. However, when I was reading it the Spirit focused me on verses 5-10. It is where Paul hones in on his weaknesses…and God’s grace. I have often times used a phrase “God’s grace is a bucket that is constantly overflowing”. It’s true. Paul knew it. And I know it.  

In those verses Paul talks about asking God to take away the “thorn in the flesh” that God allowed Satan to impose on him. I have had many, many of you, and others, praying for me to be free of this ailment that God allowed Satan to settle in my life. There are multiple passages throughout scriptures that boast about the power of prayer and unlimited instances of prophets and Jesus healing people. But, is it HIS plan for my life? What can I be learning from Him by going through this experience? What does God want me to envision in the days ahead? God allowed Satan to do terrible things to Job so that he grew in the knowledge of who God was. What will God teach me through this “thorn”? I have asked Him numerous times why he took away my ability to speak in churches to proclaim His glory. Or to mentor younger people with the wisdom that He gave me. He hasn’t given me an answer yet but I’m sure He will. I just have to listen well.

In verse 8 Paul quotes what God says to him, – “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” (NLT). I’m still trying to figure that out in this situation, but I will not stop searching. There are several doctors/specialists that I have gone to over the past months and they have given me their opinions of what they think this might be, however, God knows what it is and he is in control of it. It is my job to praise His name and to grow in this weakness to see what He has in store for me in my remaining days here on the earth. I want to serve Him well till I meet Him face to face. He has given me a strong physical body – as every doctor says. Mentally I am fit. Emotionally I’m doing well. Do I think that my voice will gain strength over the months ahead as I am seeing a voice therapist? Possibly – but it’s up to God. And me – to learn what He is teaching me.

As Paul says, “I am glad to boast in my weakness”. Though I have been an athlete all of my life, and I thought I would be until I met Him in heaven, He has slightly changed that scenario. There is a purpose in that. He is making me weaker so that He can make me stronger. I’m looking forward to this plan of His, though I’m guessing that there will be some days of challenge ahead. When Paul wrote to the Colossians in chapter 1.10 he emphasized that “you will grow as you learn to know God better and better”. That is my goal. I want to be in the very place that God can use me for His purposes.