Not Quite Finished

My voice has taken a turn for the worse. Over the past few months it has gotten weaker and groggier. I can still, sometimes, speak in the low voice I always have, but even that is getting difficult to clarify. In this scenario, I will not be able to speak at conferences any more. So far, my voice is like hills and mountains. Some days I am on the top of a mountain and some days I am in a deep valley.

I have been to four specialists so far – 2 ENT’s, a neurologist, and a speech therapist. They have done numerous tests but every single one of them has come back as normal. I would say the most important one has been the brain MRI which was looking for any tumors that might be in there. Nothing but “old age” stuff came back. One ENT found that my vocal cords were not closing properly when I was using vowels (I actually watched it live on the screen in his office). That is why I went to the speech therapist. She was actually one of the more helpful doctors and gave me some exercises to do each day. Also recommended a portable blowing machine that I am using each day.  

I have another neurologist scheduled after we get back to the States to see if he sees anything different, but my hopes are low at this point. And I have done research to find voice therapists there. The Titusville ones seem to be the top notch ones. 

In hindsight, we moved to the ME where our location was at 3000 feet. And the air there was quite dirty (affirmed by the neurologist). So, I was thinking that might have something to do with the conditions I was experiencing. Right now we are in Turkey, at sea level where we normally live, and swimming a mile every day. I am hoping that after more than a month of this routine I will see some improvements. I will also be diving several times while here so breathing oxygen should help. On our assignment in the ME we were active throughout every day but there was no exertion to challenge the muscles (which was normal at the gym in the States).

When we were in Switzerland at the outreach, whenever I had to speak to an Arab, my voice seemed to increase in volume and clarity. That was totally God using me. When I woke up in the mornings it was usually pretty weak. Clearly God was using his servant in a way that glorified Him.

All this to say – it was God who allowed this to happen and He can take it away if He wills. I go back to my main verses in the Bible, Isaiah 55. 8-9, my ways are not His ways. His ways are sooo much higher than mine and I just need to silently talk to Him every day. Will speech therapy improve it? Will surgery be needed to repair it? Is there anything that will change the course of my voice disorder? He knows. He is the Master. He has blessed me abundantly throughout my lifetime. And He will continue to bless me until it is time to see Him face-to-face. At that point my voice will be perfect!