Not Quite Finished

January 2023

I’m in a transition time of life. I see it more as a repositioning time. Knowing that I should still have at least another decade or more of fairly healthy abilities to contribute to something good on this planet. It’s just that I’m not sure what that is yet. 

We have a year during which we are still officially paid by our company, due to saved up leave time. During this time, which we are only about 6 weeks into, I have already been wrestling with the “where do I go from here” scenario. I knew upfront that there was going to be a few months of uncertainty about a lot of things. Settling back in to life in America might be uncomfortable. It is, much more so than I had anticipated. This is the first time in about 40 years that I have woken up without a job with responsibilities in front of me. While we do have some engagements on the calendar over the next several months, it’s not an everyday sort of schedule. Certainly not something I want to become routine.

I have told myself over and over not to be in a rush to find where God wants to plant me in the season ahead, yet I still find myself trying to peek around that corner. I’m trying to be a good listener. I’m even exploring some options that have been set in front of me. None of them seem to have the Master’s seal of approval yet. My wife and I have started attending a Sunday school class in our local church where there are many very nice people about our age, or older. The trouble with that is that we haven’t been in that type of environment since, well, forever. For the past few decades we have led teams of young people, sometimes much younger than us, and have become very accustomed to being around that under 30 age bracket. Sitting in a room with a majority of heads that are bald is really awkward. Until this point I never fully realized why my wife always pointed out what a nice head of hair I still have. I find myself having a very hard time relating to retirees who are happy with playing golf three times a week and fine dining more than that. (In total fairness, they are not all like that). 

I’ve found that I now have a lot more time for book reading and my local library, not to mention several thrift stores in the area, have been getting a work over from me. And while that has been a joy, I feel Ike I need to go back to school (online) and learn something new. Just not sure what that will be yet. 

One thing that I’m fairly certain of is that I will need the Master to find a position for me to work overseas in some capacity for at least some months at a time. Disaster relief, teaching at a school, running a guest house, or being a basketball or tennis coach – any one will do. Just something that will allow me to use the gifts and talents He has built in me over the years of service to Him. Already I can clearly see how easy it would be to get wrapped up and entangled in mundane life here. 

Owning a home, which we now do, can occupy way too much time if one is not careful. The media in the States constantly hammers you into thinking that your place of residence is “not good enough”. It’s not up-to-date. Needs renovating. Needs this or that gadget to survive in todays world. And your vehicle – if it doesn’t have heated seats, a sunroof, automatic rear hatch opening, parking beepers, and a host of other necessities, then you are not keeping up with the rest of your block. One delightful thing about overseas television is that minuscule amount of advertising we have to see – if we even watch it at all. Usually we are too busy helping humanity.

I’m confident that I will come out of this lull in life before the year is out, but I sure would like it to have a time frame much shorter. I do take comfort in Psalms 138.8 that reminds me that God has a plan for my life. For that I’m grateful. Maybe even sitting here typing these words is part of that plan. I think about the Hebrews in Jeremiah’s lifetime where part of God’s plan was for them to be taken into captivity. Just a recollection that not all of His plans are comfortable.